Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
Randomize
