Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
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