Actions speak louder than pants.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
Randomize
