if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
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