I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
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