It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
Randomize
