I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
