Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
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