Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
Randomize
