i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
