Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
her facebook's as public as her vagina
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
