I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Randomize
