I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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