Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
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