im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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