I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
Randomize
