shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
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