So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
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