I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
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there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
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I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
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