Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
