How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
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