I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
Randomize
