While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
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I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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