he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
Randomize
