I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize
