youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
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