speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Randomize