Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
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