Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Randomize