see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
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