Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
P.S. I can't hear my feet
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
