i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
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