I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
Randomize
