I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
