So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
I need a burrito and a hug.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
