You work out of a Hotel?
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
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I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
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We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
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