actually, I'm a sock model
dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
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