My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
So many bounce houses so little time
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
