My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
It was a blind-side dick pic.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
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