hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
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