So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
two words: eviction party
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
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