What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
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I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
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He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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