Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
Randomize
