I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
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