Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Randomize
