He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
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