Do you still have your period?
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
Randomize