We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
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You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
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Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
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