Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
you made out with another girl for some wings
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize
