i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
