My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize
