Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Randomize
