I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
Randomize
