FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize