end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
I'm too high and old for this...
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
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