You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Randomize
