Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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